The 3 A.M. Epiphany Exercises

Exercise 3.
UNRELIABLE THIRD. Write a fragment of a story from the POV of an unreliable narrator – third-person limited (or attached) narration.
700 words

“I need to just say this. It’s been eating me up inside. I know that it could ruin everything we’ve been through over the past few years. I know that you’ve said you hate this kind of grand gestures of romanticism, and I know it is somewhat selfish of me to stand here, after everything you’ve told me and to risk it, risk it all for nothing more than what is most likely a lusting I’ve been unable to contain. But, well.

And with that, she slapped him. She didn’t need to hear what he had to say. He could feel the eyes of the rest of the room burning into his back.

She looks at him, a tear beginning to slalom down her perfectly formed cheek bones, stopping briefly on her jawbone before dropping into oblivion. This one action is a very efficient metaphor for the end of their relationship. A brief tear, and then gone.

With that She turned on her heels and made for the exit.

He just stood there.

On a barometer of worst case scenarios, this hadn’t even entered his head. He had not even made his confession. Although He would never describe it as a confession. For him it was a declaration. A moment which would solidify within him a belief. He had never had the courage to step up to such a moment. Had never once even contemplated being so honest. So open. So foolish. Yet here he was the great idiot of his age.

He staggered.

Stopped.

Stood up straight. Straighter than he had ever before. His chin was practically vertical. He pushed his chest out, surveyed the room. The eyes continued to glare, but burn no more.

He smiled.

And with this action the entire room averted its gaze, as if all at once, a bright sunbeam had flowed from him. For the first time in his life He felt content, confident even. He may have bared his soul, or not bared his soul, but certainly tried to, for the first time in his life, and he may have been rebuked in the most savagely callous way imaginable, but he was not going to let that stop him from savouring this defining moment. You could say that in that moment he became a man, but it would be a lie.

“YAAAAARRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!” He whispered. And yet, despite whispering, everyone seemed to turn and listen, as if their very ear drums had vibrated their head to turn and look.

He slumped to the flow. Was he crying? It’s unclear; no one could see his face, so let’s just assume he was. Only he knows for sure. From the crowd John slowly, tentatively stepped forward.

Then, as if from the mind of a madman She walked back into the room. The revellers turned. As if things couldn’t get any more unexpected or unpredictable. In her hand she carried a gun. No not a gun, something less dramatic, but at the same time more dramatic. A chain saw. Yeah, that’ll do. A chain saw. In fact, before she entered, the crowd turned their head toward to entrance from which moments later she had exited, on hearing what to most of them sounded like a chain saw. As for the rest, one can only imagine what they thought upon hearing the sound, but one can assume they had never had the privilege of hearing a chain saw.

Anyway – she darted over to Him, who still had his head on the floor, and was presumably still crying, and if he wasn’t he no doubt would be if he took the energy to arch he head to see the demented chain saw wielder making her way toward him.

John at this point realised he had probably overstepped the mark in venturing forward to comfort the man. He may have ventured forward because on some level he emphasised with Him on the floor, but there is no doubt in my mind, that upon seeing, and hearing first, obviously, the chain saw, all empathy evaporated, and may have, at the very last been replaced by sympathy, but he most likely failed to discern any sympathy, so racked with fear was he.

At this juncture I would like to make it clear, that not being there I am unsure of exactly how the whole affair ended, but suffice to say, I believe it ended happily ever after...
THE END